Kid Birthdays
Birthdays are special! In our house, November starts the birthday season for my kids. All of my children have birthdays from now until just after the new year – and it is sometimes hard to make their birthday special when it is so close to Christmas!
My oldest complained this week that her brother seemed to have days of parties. There is the friend party, the family party, the school party, and the special birthday dinner. Is it a lot? Yes! Too much? I don’t think so.
So, how do we make their birthday special and do all the things? What are the best kid birthday ideas out there? Do you make your own birthday cakes?
I have done every combination you can imagine in nearly 16 years of parenting. When the kids were little, we would have a family/friends party and call it good. I tried to keep doing those for as long as I could get away with it! But, once they start school, they want to invite all of their friends. Early on, we would plan lots and lots of activities for our oldest and her friends – which helps fill the time, especially with a winter birthday.
Are you a super crafty Pinterest mom? I am not! Our awesome neighbor always did these super creative and amazing birthday parties for her daughter. I tried for a few years, and I decided to own my strengths. I like doing crafts, I like sewing, and I like being creative. However, I am not good at drawing or cake decorating, and I know some amazing people who are. After making several cakes for our oldest that she made fun of, I gave up on that and I’m happy to pay other people for their fabulous creations!
I find a few activities for the kids to do (our recent kid Halloween party included bobbing for apples, decorating their own cupcakes and pumpkin bingo cards that I found at Target), and I let them have free play. If the weather cooperates, we have a great back yard and swing set, and a full supply of basketballs, baseballs and other outdoor toys and the kids tend to play outside a lot. We also have had Wii tournaments or played Twister. Overall, I am a big fan of free play though.
Do you invite the whole class? I do not. I think in the past we did invite our daughter’s whole preschool class (10 kids) for a year or two. After that, it just gets too big. I generally limit them to 8-10 kids. For the joint kid Halloween party? Each of our younger kids invited 5.
Our girls are 11 years apart, and their birthdays are exactly a week apart. We have done joint family birthday parties for them. Sometimes it works, and other times, not. Our challenge for both girls is also that their birthdays will always fall over the Christmas break, which makes it harder to do the friends’ parties. We work around it.
What about parties at other places? We have done bowling and roller skating parties (both now about an hour away from us), and Pizza Hut parties. The last few years, our oldest has a tradition of taking several (3-4) friends to Denver (2 hours away) for ice skating downtown and lunch at the Old Spaghetti Factory. She loves doing it and it has become a tradition. I think we started when she was 12.
My best advice? Make it special. Ask your kids what they want to do. Whether it’s playing at home or a fun activity somewhere else, remember that it’s their special day. Give 2-3 options for them to choose from (home or at another location, theme, etc.).
Our son has been begging for a sleepover for several months. I finally gave in and we planned that for his birthday party. And he got sick last Saturday…so we are scrambling to find another day to do his friend party in the next few weeks. The lesson? Life happens, and we all have to roll with it.
What about gifts? Many times, I have told people that my kids do not need gifts. I don’t think I’ve ever succeeded in getting friends to not buy some kind of token or present. Gifting is a good lesson for us to teach our kids. Taking them to shop for a special thing for their friends, and showing them that you’re shopping for their friend and not them (if your kids are anything like mine, they will see things they want while you’re in the store) is a good lesson. People enjoy giving gifts – and it’s ok. It is something we should celebrate. I do not buy store-bought cards for kids, and I have a stockpile of gift bags that I re-use. I have my kids make a special card for their friends (construction paper works), and I am happy to spend $10-15 on a gift for their friends.
I have a whole house full of toys. With three kids, and sixteen years, we’ve had a lot of time to collect them. I encourage friends to give things that add to the collections of things my kids already have and play with. Magformers, LEGOs, wooden trains/tracks or additional pieces to our Geotrax set when they were younger, Barbies/doll stuff, barn and tractor stuff, toy kitchen stuff, etc. Over the years, we’ve had a few duplicate gifts, but very few honestly. Kids like to play, and the play years may seem long while you’re in them, but they are really very short and will be gone before you know it!
I am as opposed to the toy clutter as anyone, but I also have come to love it. I love that my kids do still play with all of the various sets of things. My youngest has her own LEGO box and gets that out when her brother gets his out. Dress up, GI Joes, action figures, dinosaurs, basic wooden blocks, doll houses, race cars/tracks – I love it all, because they really do play with it all! Exploring all of these things is part of learning, too!
What about party favors? I have done the Hot Wheels (or Barbie, or…) party with the packages of all the goodies that you can buy. Some of those little plastic toys can be kind of fun. Realistically, they are things we all toss in the trash at some point. Now, I try to come up with things that the kids will play with or worth keeping. For the sleepover party last week (which I’m still rescheduling), I bought superhero slap bracelets (smaller package of what are better quality and hopefully last longer) and a set of masks that the kids could scratch out their own designs on. In other years, I have done plastic cups with our theme (Ninja Turtles one year), and filled with candy or little notepads and pencils.
At the end of the day, it’s about celebrating your kids’ special day, and making memories. They won’t remember the decorations or the party favors. They will remember that you took the time to make it all special for them. Birthdays are special! Life is meant to be enjoyed and celebrated.
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