Ages and Stages
“Mom, I need a haircut” – said the middle to me last week. I should schedule him regularly (if I was the super-organized kind of mom I want to be), but his hair grows like crazy like his dad, and it actually looks great long or short. So…I am always catching up whenever we decide it’s too long. But his statement really hit me that my kids are no longer little, and we have moved beyond all of those ages and stages of their lives when I was in charge of all the things. Now, they drive a lot of the day to day on their own. Which is amazing.
I looked back through my last few posts, and it seems that we’ve had a lot of those epiphany moments this last year. For all of you who still have babies or littles in your house, take advantage and savor every minute of that Baby Time. They will be Big Kids before you know it!
Any of you who have been parents for decades like me know that the days can be long but the years are short. I have truly been enjoying living in the moment with our kids this last year or two – finding the Joy of Summer (with another baseball season about to start here and the boy crew gearing up for their final little league season, we will again have All the Baseball), setting Travel Goals for our Kids, and enjoying all of the Active Parenting that comes with having older kids who are busy with sports and clubs and fun.
I no longer have to change diapers or corral kids away from stairs. But they still continually push boundaries. Our middle – at 12 – is starting to show signs of Teenagerness, and we will have to keep saying no and pushing back when he wants to do all the things that the older kids do. And it’s hard. Parenting is no joke, at any of the ages and stages of their lives.
It is so amazing to watch them grow and learn and figure things out. At this point, my kids are doing that at light speed, and we have to stay ahead of them at a time when social media, phones, and all the devices play such a bigger role than we ever thought possible.
Haven’t we all said that we’re grateful that there was no social media when we were in high school? I have survived getting one kid into adulthood, and she has grown to be an amazing young lady and is rocking college and ready take on the world. Is it harder the second time? Maybe. I think each of our kids is so unique and different, so our parenting experiences along the way will also be different. So much more than the differences between girls and boys – which are real, and the girl drama is so much more than boys – parenting in each decade is also different. We, as parents, are also at different ages and stages of life, right?
Each of us has different priorities and life goals – outside of our goals for our kids or their daily/weekly/monthly needs. And those life goals change in our different seasons of life. My priorities when I was a 25-year old parent were completely different than my almost-45 year old parenting self.
I still want my kids to grow up to be good humans, and have success in their lives – of course. I also want them to see what’s really important in life, and know that we love them, above all else. Do they see that in the day to day of our busy lives? I hope so.
My 25 year old self wanted to climb the ladder of corporate success and reach specific financial goals by age 30, 40, etc. Now? I jumped off that ladder some time ago, took a side road and have circled back to create a job at a company I love, working with great people, but only part time so that I can also be the primary parent and have time to travel and enjoy life with my family. At the end of the day? Family is the most important thing to me, and I’ve found a way to have both work and life with the balance that works best for us.
Ages and stages of life have a sneaky way of hitting us when we least expect them. Whether it’s our kids telling us they need a hair cut, making their own beds, or packing themselves for the next family adventure (as my kids also did last night), each of the stages of their lives are amazing. Each of the stages of our lives are amazing. Take some time this week to think about how lucky we all are to enjoy those ages and stages both for ourselves and our kids.