Three Myths That (Still) Hold Women Back

Kristi writes for Medium, Juggling Normal, and on her site at KristiAndrus.com. This post was first published here, and is reproduced in full with permission.

Photo by Ali Pazani on Unsplash

Myth #1: You must be beautiful to be successful.

First, let’s debunk the myth that you aren’t beautiful unless you are conventionally beautiful. Most women, you included, are staggeringly beautiful. You may not be a size 6, blond, blue-eyed, big-boobed, tiny-waisted Barbie doll, but that’s only one version of beautiful, and it’s so tired.

Most women have an allure: a sparkle and a warmth that comes from competence and ease, etherealness and earthiness. It’s this irresistible combination of confidence and intuition that is uniquely feminine.

Next time you are with one of the women in your life, take note of her standout qualities and heart, and I promise from now on, that’s all you’ll see. And you won’t be able to look away.

Photo by Hamid Tajik on Unsplash

Myth #2: You must be rich to be successful.

Every civilization throughout history has sorted its people according to the haves and have nots, but so much of the effectiveness of that system was secrecy, an unknown methodology by someone in power.

It’s a different world now. And anyone can discover just about anything. It’s not just because there’s a TikTok video to teach you, but because learning what’s possible and changing your destiny has never been easier or more accessible.

The barriers to entry are the lowest they’ve ever been, for every gender and every race, and there are a million ways to lead a happy, successful, beautiful life — A million!

You used to need money or an investor, know the right people or do the right things in the right order or time it just right or be born into the right family — Everything had to be just right. Today, there’s no such thing as right; there’s only what works, and no one gets to say if you are a have or have not.

It used to be challenging to shift gears or make big moves, you needed years of experience or education, but today, opportunities are everywhere. And stuck is a myth too.

Rich is an experience, not a goal. It’s a state of mind, a way of engaging with the world, an approach, and an outlook, and a rich life is yours if you want it.

Photo by Mateus Campos Felipe on Unsplash

Myth #3: You must have it all to be successful.

You can have it all, usually much more effortlessly than you think, if, and it’s a big if, you know what you want. But many of us change tides with the wind.

We pursue big career goals for a minute, then relationship goals for the next, turn our attention to home. When the tide turns, we pursue health goals for a minute, then social goals for the next, turn our attention to travel. That’s not having it all; that’s wanting.

Volume is not the problem; the ever-changing focus is. It’s ok to change your mind, but wanting everything everyone else has is a recipe for disaster.

We’ve got to get clear on our priorities, know what our ideal day looks like, and stretch into who we want to be. That old thing about the journey not the destination isn’t so much about smelling the roses along the way; it’s about knowing humans crave progress and a path.

So rather than hustling to arrive, then feeling dissatisfied, and moving the goalposts even further, why not envision your ideal life and take consistent, satisfying strides and celebrate progress as you go?

It’s easy to be happy when you are going where you want, seeing yourself improve on what you want to be known for, and are living your best life your way with the people you love like crazy.

In case you missed it, check out Kristi’s other life lessons posts:

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